As Upstanding Members of Society,
we at Things That Hurt in The Eye are true to our name. As such, the main goal of our website is to create, share, and regularly update, by request or otherwise, a huge archive of things that hurt in The Eye.
Why?
Well, to you skeptical types, the reason for our gallant escapade is to not only warn humankind of the sensitivity of The Eye and the brutality of things that hurt in it, but also to list these things in an appealing way and recruit additional contributors and, indeed, testers.
Feature Presentation: "Every time you say one of these things doesn't hurt in The Eye, somebody's Eye falls out somewhere." -Administrator
- Staple remover
- Scissors
- Digital camera (thrown from a distance)
- Pen, ballpoint/other
- Screwdriver
- USB cable
- Mini Captain Hook* hook
- Native American spear
- Un-spiraled spiral notebook
- Bleach
- Ruler, metric/standard
- A robot
- Harry Connick, Jr.
- Knife
- A stamos
- Fire
- Any of various Better Than Ezra albums or EPs
- Giant molecule
- Spire
- Drinking straw
- Ivory tusk
- Contact lens
- Letter opener
- Any kind of dowel
- Venom
- The Christian cross
- Guitar string
- Brussel sprout
- Weatherproof rope
- 300 lbs
- Bubble wand
- Steel-toed boot
- Shaving implement
- Gastric juices
- Food coloring
- Tack
- Chicken wire
- Blue spruce
- Human finger
- Sharp rock
- Nuclear fusion
- The Pirates of the Carribean
- The Civil War
- Pain
- Mustard
- Relish
- Ketchup
- Incisors
- Nail
- Shells, snail/nautical
- Ant colony, specifically red
- Lobster
- Loaf of pumpernickel
- Ice pick
- Switchblade
- Albatross
- Needle
- Ink
- DDR 2
- Inchworm
- Ostrich eggs
- Toenail clippings
- Another Eye
- Candy
- Bed spring
- Paintball
- Copper wire
- Ball of Scotch tape
- Ram
- EA Sports games
- Old lady nail clippings
- Swiss Army knife
- Spandex
- Whiteout
- Drill bit
- Mannequin
- Dead fly on fire
- Car keys
- The GHS BOMBS!
- Pin
- Bookmark
- Sean Penn's nose
- Victorian wedding
- Bicycle chain
- Broken glass
- Ancient Native American spirit
- Remains
- Dog poop
- Ink cartridge
- Armenia
- Wood chips
- Sea anemone
- The tip of a mountain
- Bowling pin
- Gun
- Anything in German
- Feathers
- Very sharp things
- Sand
- Baton
- The jaws of life
- ET's finger
- Money
- Violin bow
- Hawaii
- Tiara
- Forklift
- Carbone Windows and Siding
- The Eiffel Tower
- The bones of a mouse
- Hole puncher
- A dead eel
- String
- Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (10th edition)
- Pieces of Eight
- Chicken
- Elmo
- Philly steak
- Ceiling fan
- Electricity
- Inscence
- Staples
- Animal vertebra
- Ibanez
- Lemonade
- Typewriter functions
- Inverted pencil sharpener
- Sydd
- Five-pointed star
- Bread
- The cotton gin
- Brightness
- Deformed eyelids
- Tattoos
- A brick
- Trumpet
- Sprinkler
- Donuts
- Rusty things
- Two other Eyes
- Ear peircing
- Lip peircing
- Tongue peircing
- Peirce Brosnan
- Cheese
- Magnifying glass
- Elbow grease
- Beef jerkey
- Sea urchin
- Paper cuts
- Adhesive tape
- Trumpets
- Corn at 55 mph
- Foot cream
- Cleats
- Big Bird's beak
- Light switch
- Metal
- Perfume
- Peroxide
- Alcohol
- Mayonnaise
- Stiletto heels
- Nuclear fission
- Fork
- Mascara
- Salt
- Pepper
- Shampoo
- Soap
- Fabric freshener
- K'nex
- Pineapple
- Play-Doh
- Lamp
- Steven King's IT
- Crutches
- Belt sander
- 9-Volt battery
- Tumbleweed
- Cone
- Coriander
- A black sandwich
- Boxing
- Titanic
- An anvil
- Spidersilk
- Most any kind of car
- A weapon of tinfoil
- Graham crackers
And so much more yet to be discovered!
*Any parties hoping to capture the Mini Captain Hook should be prepared to spend days without sleep or any kind of rest, as well as physically conditioned for chasing a little 10" man around over great distances. We at Things That Hurt in The Eye spent months preparing, chasing, capturing, and re-capturing Mini Captain Hook before we were able to confirm that he hurts in The Eye.